Reginah Sanyu – 1851 Staff
“He called me at work and asked me to a Boston University hockey game and I said ‘yes,’” said Marian Desautels. “No I actually walked into your work and asked you whether you wanted to go to a hockey game,” responded her husband Raymond Desautels. “Oh, I thought you called. I like sports so I said yes anyways,” Marian replied playfully.
The Desautels have been living at Lasell Village for 13 years. However, they have been married for 62 years. “I cannot believe it has been this long,” Marian said. “If it is a true commitment, then you can make it work.”
They became engaged during Christmas time. “He came out of the army without a penny in his pocket but we still had each other,” Marian said. Although they had known each other for a while, the two did not get married until Marian was 33 years old. “I could not get married if I wasn’t making any money,” said Raymond. The wedding happened in May after their engage- ment. It was held in a small church and the reception was at Marian’s house. Right out of college, Raymond started working at an insurance company only to join the army after. He spent four years in the army and came back to the insurance business. “Getting a master’s degree did not do me any good. I liked the career in the army,” he said. “I might have made a career out of the military. I don’t know, it was a possibility.”
While working in the insurance business, Raymond became managing partner at the Bay State Financial Services. “It’s kind of a family affair,” Raymond said. His grandfather and father were insurance men and his son, Raymond Jr., now works in the insurance.
Raymond and Marian have three children: Denise, Marianne and Raymond Jr. “My children are my greatest joy,” Marian said.
But, being together for that long took patience for the two. “I don’t believe in multiple ‘friends’; I would be so crushed,” said Marian. “I don’t believe in divorce. People divorce and it’s okay, but there are always ways of amending,” added Raymond. And when it comes to finding those ways, the couple agrees that both parties need to meet half way.
The Desautels believe marriage makes a family complete. “It’s not the same if there is no commitment. If you can go in and get out of things, then there is no feeling of continuity… I can’t see this living together business without commitment,” said Marian.
When it comes to all of it, Marian said it is important to be truthful. Because “by being truthful, everything will fall into place.”
So at the end, what does it come to? What is the end game? Do you end up in a wonderful closet of shoes, a garage of Bugattis or in a small room with someone you have been with for 62 years? For the Desautels, their children are their greatest pleasure and the commitment they have for each other is lasting.